Right now I am on the plane eating my “Economy Class Chicken Dinner” for breakfast and I am thinking of yesterdays kosher meal on Turkish Airlines. Worst ever. And I have had a lot of bad ones, including 18 lettuce only salads once.
Please don’t read this if you plan to eat in the next 3 hours.
First bad sign – its anonymous. No marking of the supplier, caterer or even the exterminator. Not on all the wrappings, tapes, plastics. Its not like they forgot – they remembered a tri-language statement of kashrut by 2 French Rabbi’s (do Ashkenazic people really not trust a Sephardic Rabbi (and vice versa)). I am sure the French version advised them not to eat it.
Next bad sign – 2 round metal cans. First glance at the can and it looks just like Tuna fish. Second glance – it is Basque Tuna – a dish which is basically (no offense to the Basque who, were it not for the tuna disaster might have my support for an independent homeland some day), cat-food quality tuna with a little rice filler and warmed up. Do not try this at home!
A can of tuna is best at room temperature (not Jet engine blasted). Luckily, the heat of the can (and the thought of the contents) distracted me as I turned to the second can, which was for sheer variety – Salmon Pate.
After a trial forkful (I would not have dared this if I was not helpless, extraterrestial and starving 37,000 feet in the air) both cans were trashed. I apologize to Mr. Chicken or Beef next to me for the horrible dead fish smell coming from my meal (and later from under the seat where I stuffed it).
If all else fails – desert should be edible. Not even close. Lets just say this mysterious French company does NOT have a non-compete with GERBERS. Desert was a mushed banana and apple dish. Its been a while, but I recall gerbers being tastier.
I am sure you have deep sympathy for my experience, but it gets worse. Finally, I fall asleep on my empty stomach and wake up to Breakfast. Kosher. Guess what?
Its the exact same thing again. And this time – I was beaten – I ate it. I will never touch tuna, salmon, banana or apples again. The Basque can forget their country (stick with Boise, ID) and the entire country of France should lose all their Michelin stars for allowing this to happen.
I think in general Kosher food out of Europe is bad. Out of Israel, at least you get something reasonably fresh (besides airport security and airline safety). In US the field is competitive and no one wants an in-flight death (or worse – a lawsuit) on their hands. But Europe – forget it.
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